“When you know who you are, you’ll know what to do.”
Do you feel like you know who you are, what really matters to you, what lights you up and drives you to be better every day?
I was reading a daily devotional from a plan in my Bible app and this quote really impacted me. Isn’t it funny how, when you’re open, the right message tends to land on you at the exact right time?
Over the past few months I have been on a quest to tune in and have a better relationship with myself.
I know for certain that not knowing who I was in the past has caused me great confusion & pain and has led me to be easily distracted. Meaning I didn’t follow through with a lot of the things I started. This caused me to feel shame, guilt, and feelings of not-good-enoughness, especially when comparing myself to people to seem to have all their sh*t together.
I know that the comparison trap isn’t good for anyone.
However, an a-ha moment dawned on me while in the midst of comparison. I realized that there was one simple difference between me and the people I compared myself to. Did you already guess what the difference is?
The difference is that those people know who they are.
They know what really matters to them, what lights them up and what drives them to be better every day. That’s it. It really isn’t any more fancy or profound than that.
As I learn more about who I am, I understand more deeply what role it is that I want to play in this world, thus, the knowing what to do part has been coming much more easily.
The same is true for you; the more you know who you are, the more you will know what to do.
Wouldn’t it feel so much better if you were to make decisions based on your visions and values, not based on outside pressure and force?
So I ask you, do you feel like you know who you are? If you’re unsure, here are 3 great questions to begin with:
1. Have you made life decisions based on your thoughts/fears of how others will respond or have you made life decisions based on what you know would most fulfill you?
2. Are your career & activities soul-sucking or do they make your soul sing?
3. Do you feel drained most of your life or do you feel curious and alive most of your life?
If your answers were the first option of any of those questions, you have some work to do.
But know this: It's never too late to begin the self-discovery process.
Start small. Incorporate something you absolutely love into your life. You can take up a hobby that you once loved but stopped doing or one you've wanted to try forever. Paint, dance, sing, learn the ukulele, start gardening, learn how to code computers, join a book club, heck, write a book!
You can learn something you’ve always wanted to learn. Go back to school and get your degree in that area of expertise, learn how to invest, take that Traditional Chinese Medicine course you’ve been eyeing for years. Whatever floats your boat.
Do something that you can get lost in, something that when you’re in the activity, you can literally do it for hours and not even know time has passed.
Watching TV does not count because that's you getting lost in someone else's story; the point here is to start making a story of your own. There’s no judgment there…I binge watch TV like many others (what’s up with that crappy GOT ending, btw??) but I don’t count that as a soul-fulfilling activity. ;)
Commit to yourself. If you need to pen it in your calendar or type it into your scheduling app, do it. And keep your appointment with you!
You can do an activity for yourself daily, once a week, once every 2 weeks, or even once a month. Just get to learning more about YOU. When you do this you’ll see that you’ll have more insight about yourself and the curiosity to know more about yourself will build.
In parting, here are a few questions to ponder:
Will you continue to put up a facade in order to please others/gain acceptance from others who aren’t living your life?
Will you continue to mute your presence and ignore the role you really want to play in this world?
Will you start paying attention to yourself and the stirrings of your own soul?
Will you begin having a relationship and dialogue with yourself so you can discover who you really are?
Only you can answer those questions. I hope you answer them in a way that leaves you with zero regrets!!