The Letters She Made Me Write

I'm a growth program to uplevel my life with one of Brendon Burchard's personally trained high performance coaches. I work 1:1 with her and I'm on the 6th week of the program. Over the course of these weeks, I've made a lot of changes. Like, an astounding amount of changes in a short amount of time. I say astounding because I've tried to make these changes for years but somehow haven't been able to; and yet here I am, 6 weeks into the program and following through with the promises I've made to myself with relative ease.

These are things I'm doing consistently now:
 - I exercise 5 days a week minimum.
 - I go to bed early and do not watch/look at my phone for at least 30 minutes before lights out. 
 - I get up early every day and complete a morning ritual before the kids wake up.
 - I eat a clean diet with low amounts of natural sugar and virtually no processed sugar; basically I don't put anything in my body that I know will cause me to be tired and depress my mood.
 - I write a bit of a blog post daily so I can tell the world what I'm up to.
 - I plan my week out on Sunday and every night make sure I know clearly what I'm doing the next day.
 - I keep time blocks for my activity (admittedly still working out the small kinks in this).

I was thinking about this list and my past of trying and failing at all of these things. That got me pondering: Why now? How are these changes sticking? Why has it been pretty straightforward for me to get on the horse and stay firmly seated there?

I had a a-ha moment:

It's because I finally decided. 

In the past, here's how the process of me trying to change went: 

 - Have the thought that I want to change.
 - Make a plan to implement the action.
 - Take the action, usually starting on the next Monday.
 - Do the thing for a few days, maybe even a whole week, while resisting it majorly. 
 - Let thoughts of doubt and "is this really that important?" creep in.
 - Subscribe to the story of: "You're a free spirit! You shouldn't have to be so disciplined."
 - Let the action fizzle out.
 - Feel defeated and tell myself that I'll try again sometime later.
 - Pig out, drink too much, sleep in, binge watch series on TV, feel terrible about myself.
- Think that something needs to change.
- Repeat the cycle. 

Does this sound familiar to you? 
This was my cycle. For years. This happened any time I tried to implement this list of things I now follow through with, and have been consistent with for weeks.

You may be thinking - for only a few weeks? That's not long enough to prove anything. She's definitely going to fall off at some point. 

The thing is that I feel so different this time around; I know I'm not going to stop. 

Back to the question of "why now?" What was the thing that finally got me to decide?  

I mentioned above that I'm in a growth program to uplevel my life with a personal coach who is working with me 1:1. One of the assignments she had me do was to write letters...the twist is that these letters were to come from the viewpoint of my family members and addressed to me. 

I wrote one from each of my children and one from my husband.

They were to be written as if we were in the future (around a decade from now), and would express from my kids and my husband why they were thankful that I grew my dōterra business and grew myself in general.

The letters weren't long. About half a page to 3 quarters of a page each. Even though they were short in length, what I discovered within the letters was profound.

The words described who the future me was; who I wanted my children to be proud to call mom, and my husband to be grateful to call wife.

After I wrote them, my coach suggested I highlight words and phrases my “family” had used to describe me as a person, or describe attributes that they now had as a result of my influence in their lives. Here’s a few things I highlighted:

Courageous, connected, loving, tenacious, disciplined, positive, grounded, solid, woman of integrity & grit, stay the course, lighthouse, radiating love, determined, does things that matter, sees things through, successful.

I wrote things I wanted to accomplish, do and become. Which, interestingly enough, nowhere in my letters did I write, “Thank you, mom, for binge watching that series on Netflix in 3 days flat!” Or, “Thank you, mom, for sleeping in late every day and waking up rushed and in a bad mood!” Or, “Thank you, mom, for not taking care of yourself and complaining about feeling tired and crappy all day long!”

Because we all know that those things really contribute to kids’ lives. Um…not!

I had an awakening after writing the letters. I saw how I wanted to show up for the people I love the very most in my life. I realized how I needed to carry myself in this world. I knew that the things I was wasting my life away doing were not what I wanted my family to remember my by. The letters showed me that I wanted to leave a legacy of me being my best me.

This blog post is courtesy of the Annabelle that I discovered through those letters.

The woman in those letters knows how important it is for her to get her voice out in the world; and blogging is part of that process.

I’ve said for too long that I’ve wanted to write consistently and up until just a few weeks ago, I didn’t keep that promise to myself. So this is me, keeping my promises and leaning into my legacy.

This brings me to my curiosity about YOU. Are you living your legacy? Are you doing the things that you want your loved ones to remember you by in the future?

Could you say that your life speaks for what you want people to know about you? Even when you’re long gone?

If you’re not clear on how you want to be known and remembered, maybe it’s time you write some letters. ;)